Anna, God And Real News From The Twilight Zone

Everyday I read news from around the world. Doing so gives me a sense of how I fit in. Since I am new to the township of Hamilton, New Jersey, I am like any other newcomer, just kind of finding my place. At times, I have to say there are some things that keep me feeling slightly out of tune. When I read the news from around the world, I find being out of place is more common that I thought

Now we know Ohio is flat.

For instance, this place Fostoria, Ohio must be a real interesting place to live. They have a police dog with a degree in criminal justice. Apparently, the canine went to the same school for his degree as the town’s Police Chief John McGuire. Therefore, I would assume they share the same pet-degree which is why they are being taken to court for falsification of records. This has come about because someone noticed the school is located in the Virgin Islands. I would have thought a dog with a college diploma alone was enough to raise to few ears.

In Hoosier we trust?

In Hobart, Indiana, Kevin Russell sought to bring new meaning to the phrase “manna from heaven. Mr. Russell walked into a Chase bank and tried to cash a check for $150.000.00. My guess is if he succeeded, he would have received at least half after Chase finished levying their usual round of incidental bank fees. Unfortunately, for Kevin, someone noticed the issuing endorser, King Savior, King of Kings. Nowhere did I read if he had an account with the bank.

Machoism takes a shot to the head in Boston…

In Boston NBA Celtics game announcer Cedric Maxwell issued an on air apology about his comment toward a ref after what he thought was a bad call. The NBA is one of the first top-level professional leagues to use female referees in an all male game. During the game, he decreed she “go back into the kitchen.” After the game referring to Violette Palmer he punctuated his opinion with, “Go in there and make me some bacon and eggs, would you?” I don’t image Cedric will be invited to any women’s right events anytime soon

…and Chicago

The Chicago Bears are supposed to the NFL franchise that embodied raw make testosterone and just plain mean. The players like Dick Butkus and Brian Urlacher epitomize macho fierceness blood and guts. At one time, they were nicknamed the “Monsters of the Midway.” How is it that a team that embraces all of this macho hormonal branding awards a new multi year contract to their leader, a man called Lovie? I have to say the team owners did that right thing by showing Lovie the love. Doesn’t that mean Urlacher has to meow is instead of growl.

She’s gone but still headlines

Is it me or is it really since she died there hasn’t be a day without her. Of course, I am talking about Anna Nicole Smith. This is a woman who idolized Marilyn Monroe, was a Playboy centerfold, worked in strip clubs, married a man sixty plus years her senior, starred in a movie with OJ Simpson and has five men and counting claiming paternity of her kid. Therefore, why am I not surprised the headline reads that her memorial will be over the top? One could only imagine what it would be if the woman had accomplished anything of significance outside of a bedroom.

I am at ease in Hamilton

Now, when I pass the sign on Klockner Rd that says left lane must turn left I feel more comfortable. I still look to the left and still see there still is not a place to turn in to unless you want to drive through the woods. After the reading some of these news stories, I come across, everything seems to fit right in.