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Who digs this stuff up?

WALES and FRANCE

When I get apprehensive about flying and start to doubt the airworthiness of any aircraft I’m in, I always reassure myself by remembering that if the crew thought the plane wasn’t safe they wouldn’t get into it themselves. That settled I can usually relax and enjoy … well, up to a point.

Now even that refuge has been cruelly snatched form me. The English papers reported this week that a plane flying from Cardiff to Paris had to return to home base without touching down at its destination. The problem was not with the plane but with the pilot – he wasn’t qualified to land that particular type of aircraft in fog.

So now as well as having doubts about the safety of the aircraft I have the added worry of whether the crew is suitably qualified.

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Can you imagine the pilot making that announcement? “Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking. We can see our destination to the left of the aircraft, but we’ll not be landing there today since I am not trained so to do. We wish you a comfortable flight back to your point of departure, where the weather is wet and windy. We hope you choose to fly with us again.”

ITALY

What does one do with 40 Kg of confiscated, illicit, caviar? And it’s not just any old caviar, it’s Beluga, the most expensive. That’s the dilemma facing Italian customs officers who intercepted the contraband on its way from Poland. The fishy delicacy is said to be worth US$550,000, and it won’t keep for ever.

However Christmas being the season of goodwill to whoever, the Italians have decided to donate the stuff to the poor and needy of Milan It will be going to poor shelters and hospices, but I wonder who will provide the necessary Blinis and Champagne to go along with it? And can we really expect those who rarely see a good square meat and potatoes meal to say thanks for a load of fish eggs?

We salute the generosity of the Italians customs department, and encourage them to go after smugglers of clothes and blankets next time.

ENGLAND

In 1969 a man from Sheffield, England, lent an Australian man £5 for a ferry ticket from Belgium to England. Well done that man. Addresses were exchanged and the Australian promised to return the money as soon as he could ….. time went by.

Now this week, nearly 40 years later, the £5 has been returned. A card with £5 plus interest, coming to £200 arrived at the home of the generous Englishman, who, generous to the end, donated it to charity, and is trying hard to contact the Australian to catch up on old times.