Man Snatches $800 Vagina

The locals at Brownhelm Township, Ohio were awoken by an “almighty din” in the early hours of Monday morning, when a man drove a stolen semi into an Adultmart in search of an $800 Male Masturbator.

The sex toy is said to be incredibly lifelike, and have human touch buttocks and thighs, and the most “authentic female genitalia” on the market.

Having smashed through the store window, and retreating out with his prized sex toy, the vehicle managed to get ¼ of a mile (badly damaged) before the police caught up with it. The felon however managed to get away on foot, clutching his prized vagina in hand.

The sex crazed felon, knew exactly what he was searching for, having apparently cased the store during open hours over a period of several days. While the police have a description of the man that stole the vagina, they still have not been able to apprehend him.

This is not the first time this particular Adultmart has been victim to a smash and grab, in 2009 a thief smashed through the store window in his car (while the store was open) and snatched a cheaper vagina,  before making off with it. No culprit was found in that case either, and some are speculating that the same man returned to get a new vagina having worn his old one out.

Rather unusually for any town, Brownhelm has a female population of ZERO!