Romance on the Row: Coorespondance Dating Realm of Prisoners

Women and men all across the country find love each day and some in the most unlikely of places. For instance, and although it is not a new trend it is still a popular one, many find it within the penal system. I don’t mean guard with inmate either in a Raising Arizona fashion. Rather than women on the outside and the inmate.It is said that there are over 10,000 ads online from inmates right now.

Why might you ask. Well, never undermine the power of a bad boy. -Their dangerous, suave mystic. The passion remains beyond the high school bad boy on the motorcycle. And with the danger there’s the safety of the prison in this case. It is kind of odd, but most commonly the worst the offense the more letters from women that the inmate gets. Charles Manson, one of America’s most notorious conspirators, gets over 50,000 letters a year and mostly from women! Not to mention the millions of fan sites out there to him. Scott Peterson, the man who murdered his wife and child is said to get at least 25 letters a day of fan mail from women and also has multiple fan sights. Many of these women purpose marriage to the men or vise versa. Some do marry there in the prison but the marriages hardly ever last. After all the divorce rate alone is horrific much less to be married to man you hardly ever get to see.

The danger may not be the only reason as to why this occurs. With the men in our lives were constantly wondering where they are. Why are they not home when they got off of work 4 hours ago? Are they out with their friends or out with a woman? What are they out doing with their friends? Why didn’t he invite me? However, when your boyfriend is in prison there is no stressing as to the question of where he is. He is there being watched and not getting into trouble. There is also no women(except a few guards) for him to be swayed by. No worries of cheating (unless it’s with a fellow inmate).There is also no despair over their annoying daily habits. You know what I mean, such as not putting the toilette seat down, forgetting to pay the bills and spending all the money on a new game system, ignoring you while he’s on the game system(for hours), etc.

Instead it takes you back to the days of naivety, writing love letters in high school. Its all very Elizabethan. You can write endlessly of your day, problems, hopes, and dreams. Psychologists have often found that writing helps people out in so many ways that it is not a question as to why this whole process seems very therapeutic. And you receive letters in return filled with hopes and dreams. It becomes quite similar to addiction. And lets not forget the phone calls and visits. Its very reminiscent of a forbidden love, the star crossed lovers. A struggle and long distance relationships often makes the yearning stronger.

There are other psychological benefits from this process.Women are said to be nurturing creatures. We are often portrayed as the nurses and teachers-those who comfort and love. When corresponding with an inmate women often feel good about themselves. It boosts their self esteem and often places them in the role of a nurturer. It lifts them up to know that they are the only woman in this man’s life and makes them feel like they are needed for his benefit and well being.

The general profile for women who write prisoners and pursue a relationship is that they are usually not “people persons” and are usually quiet and withdrawn. These women are also said to have suffered from some kind of abuse as a child. They often relocate to be near their “loved one” in prison and often concerns their family members.

These writings often occur through prisoner online profiles and websites such as writeaprisoner.com. These admissions are often prohibited by prisons and if found the inmate can suffer from things such as having their phone privileges taken away.These websites make it easy to find “the one” through the ability to search by sex,religion, horoscope sign, and age. I myself searched the site just to have some credible knowledge for this article and came across some very interesting things. I found that most of the men said they were lonely and have found placement from their past hectic lives and have reformed and seeking the company of a woman. They often described themselves and what they were looking for in a woman. It seems as if the online dating circuit has crossed through the bars.

The online dating circuit for inmates has caused many concerns in multiple ways. In 1997 a woman who met her inmate husband online and when tried to break him out, the Arizona penal system locked down on the inmates ability to access the online dating realm.Many loved ones and victims of those in-prisoned feel loathing and pain to see the ads of those who offended them online. One woman whose husband was murdered by one of the inmates with an online profile led the woman to lobbying for a bill to ban provisions of the ads. Many seek money from those who write them for commissary. And also many inmates have more than one pen pal, all to whom they send these deep heart felt letters. Lets not also forget the fact that these are criminals, men who have done something wrong in their pasts if not having multiple offenses. They have raped, murdered, stole, etc. none of which is something I personally find appealing for a future boyfriend. These transgressions  at times reoccurs and harms the women who have written them. None the less, this trend is something I do not see to fade in the future. When searching for a love within the penal system it is a good virtue to be cautious. I am not saying that all criminals have not reformed or that some of the love found through the pen pal system is not legitimate, I am only saying that some aren’t reformed and some isn’t legitimate rather than a using of one to gain access to money and the outside.

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