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Most news is meant to be informative, but other news is Hilarious!

Number 10
Fake Female Clown robs bank

A man robbed a bank wearing a woman’s blond wig, fake breasts under a sweater and clown trousers, authorities in Pennsylvania, US, said. Swissvale police said 48-year-old Dennis Hawkins was sitting in a parked car covered in red dye from an exploding packet in a bag of money when he was arrested on Saturday. Police Chief Greg Geppert said Hawkins robbed the bank at gunpoint, using a toy BB gun he had shoplifted from a store.

(This is not the Clown.)

Number 9

Convenience store Phone box

Residents in a tiny village are fighting back against the decline in rural services by successfully opening a grocery store in a disused phone box. The “store” in Draughton, North Yorks, has been up and running for two weeks and is operated according to the “honesty box” principle, with residents leaving payment for any goods they take. The community was left without access to basic items after the post office closed following the retirement of its owners in 2008.

Number 8

Police outwitted by Burglar

A man was startled by a burglar hiding beneath his bed after police officers failed to find the intruder in a search of the house. The Burglar was later wrestled to the ground by Adam Magee (the owner of the house) when he found William Sowerby crawling out from underneath the bed. The police were alerted and the man was arrested.

Number 7

Texan Marijuana Rain

A low-flying aircraft filled with Marijuana crashed into an empty filled in Caddo Mills, East Texas, but not before dumping its payload onto local residents houses. Rural homeowners near Greenville reported hearing duffel bags filled with what appeared to be marijuana thud onto their roofs early Monday.

Number 6

Wine rack Bra?

Have you every needed to guzzle wine surreptitiously while simultaneously needing to retain the use of your hands and keeping your breasts looking nice and perky? Well look no further! The contains a bladder which can hold an entire bottle of wine (or any other liquid substance that you might prefer).

Picture from http://www.baronbob.com

Number 5

Donkey Schlong Condoms

If you love gaming and sex (who doesn’t?), then these are for you. Rather than serving the sole purpose of evoking childhood memories, this marriage of product and marketing is aimed at more mature fans of Game Boy titles and is an attempt to promote safe sex. So keep on playing Sextris and Bone Zone for some super safe fun.

Number 4

I just can’t stop humping Police Cars

A Cincinnati man was arrested Monday on a disorderly conduct charge, and police say he humped a cruiser before he was taken to jail. Apparently he caused an annoyance by making unreasonable noise or an offensively obscene utterance, gesture or display. Police say when they told him to stop, he pulled in front of the police car and began humping it and cursing at police.
This is how cars are really made.

Number 3

Japan has a Whale of a time over prostitutes.

Japanese officials bribed six small nations with offers of cash and call girls in return for their votes in favor of slaughtering whales, according to a newspaper investigation. Needless to say that we all know that slaughtering whales makes you hungry, but for this?

This picture is so weird and disgusting I can ony apologise for it.

Number 2

Saudi Arabian women breastfeed all unrelated men

As many of us know, women and men in Saudi Arabia must be careful not to mingle, as the insanely strict Islamic law bans mixing between the sexes who are not related. Recently, the Saudis have issued a fatwa that forces women who come into contact with unrelated men on a regular basis to breastfeed them so that they can be considered “relatives” and not potential lovers. The strangest part is, this isn’t the actual issue at hand. The issue is, how do the men get the milk? I know, it just gets weirder. This Fatwa applies to men who regularly come into contact with the same woman, or men who live in the same house with a woman. The woman has to pump her breast milk into a glass and give it to the unrelated male. Doesn’t that sound appetising?

This baby is obviously not happy with the Fatwa.

Number 1

The Cat burglar…….is a Cat?

The owners of a cat have reported their pet to the police after it started stealing dozens of knickers and items of underwear from neighbouring gardens. Perhaps even more amazing is what the director of veterinary services at Cats Protection stated: “This is a natural behaviour that is completely normal and isn’t a cause for concern.”