I was just getting over the shock of reading that Steve Tyler quit Aerosmith when I learned that veteran politico Lou Dobbs was leaving CNN. I was brought up to believe that nothing on God’s green earth happens without a reason. And am I the first writer to notice how quickly Dobbs ditched his cable news show when Aerosmith had an opening for a lead singer? Obviously, Dobbs wanted Aerosmith to know he was available to step in for the iconic but problematic front man.

And Steve Tyler is obviously jaded after putting in 30+ years with the same job, and ready to answer the clarion call of CNN to ‘walk this way’ into Dobbs’ old 7 PM spot. Think of what adventures would await these two if they just swapped jobs.

In an era where news channels strive to be controversial (witness Fox News on the right and MSNBC on the left), CNN’s objective reporting is being left in the lurch. Yuppies on the make have it tuned in to convince their dates that they are responsible men of substance. Politicians watch it because they are expected to, yet at least half of them would rather take in Road Runner cartoons.

Steve Tyler would be a ratings boon; he projects more energy sitting in a chair than most anchors would doing backflips. He could make the most tedious bits of news entertaining. Americans of all political stripes would gladly switch off their reality show reruns to catch Tyler’s take on the news. So what if he makes a few gaffes. Viewers would tolerate, even anticipate that, and it’s a small price to pay for getting to spend an hour watching this proven entertainer do his thing. It would certainly beat listening to Dobbs’ curmudgeonly browbeating of any news event that didn’t go his way.

For Tyler, this gig is tailor-made. He wouldn’t have to worry about falling off stage and breaking something, as happened during his last tour. And if he needed to cancel some ‘dates’ CNN would have a substitute on call, perhaps Ozzie Osbourne or Gene Simmons.

Alright, passing the silk scarf to Dobbs might seem a stretch, but I’m convinced he’s ready for it. Dobbs left CNN because he wants to express himself. Reading between the lines, I am convinced that Dobbs meant artistic expression. I think the reason he’s been a sourpuss all these years is that he’s a frustrated rocker. So don’t expect a Geritol-laced, downbeat rendition of ‘Love in an Elevator’ from this guy.

I’ll give you the fact that Dobbs probably can’t sing, but neither could Linda McCartney and that did not stop her from appearing with Sir Paul and Wings. There are electronic gadgets out there that would allow Dobbs to Milli Vanilli his way through the first tour, or until his pipes had thawed sufficiently for the real deal. And stage presence? I predict that as soon as Dobbs hears Aerosmith’s fat backbeats and Steve Perry’s scintillating lead guitar riffs, he’ll be all over the stage.

Of course, the group will allow him to do a stage rant or two, probably about illegal aliens, as long as it doesn’t totally wreck the party mood.

Face it, folks. This is an opportunity not to be squandered.

It seems like we hear a different version of this story every few months.  Rapper comes from the streets.  Rapper find sudden success.  Rapper finds he has insane amounts of money.  Rapper continues to live gangster lifestyle.  Does drugs.  Has gun.  Does something stupid.  Goes to jail.

     Sound familiar?  Lil Wayne, come on down! You’re the next contestant!  And we are always surprised.  We shake our heads, and talk about just how talented the kid is, how much potential he has, how much good he can do.  Many will say that it’s unfair;  citing either his awful background, or his miraculous turnaround (usually starting, coincidentally, immediately after arrest and leading up to sentencing).  They’re already starting to come out for Wayne; after all, anyone with a rough background should be excused for trite little things such as two counts of criminal possession of a weapon and one count of criminal possession of a loaded weapon.

     It’s hard for me to feel bad for the guy; I have no sympathy whatsoever.  In a world where people are struggling to feed and support their families, these morons get the golden ticket and blow it because they aren’t smart enough to stop living like idiots.  If there is a real tragedy here, it’s that this jackass will get out of prison and pick up right where he left off.  We will, in fact, probably love him even more.  He will either be a redemption story, which we love, or a true thug, which we love even more.  Sometimes we really suck.

Not that long ago, this family was thrown on National Television on a show called “Wife Swap”.  And yes, if you haven’t had the misfortune of seeing it, it is exactly what the title infers.  And we wonder why it might occur to this idiot that there’s more relative fame and money to be found here?  Hell… there is!  The Octomom, perhaps the biggest moron of the year, did it.  We pour through one moronic concept after another via reality show, sending the message that if you’re willing to make an ass out of yourself, you’ll get paid. 

And it’s an accurate message, because that’s exactly who we are.  Superficial, attention craving whores, one and all.  We all play a part.  Do the parents suck?  Of course they do.  Should they be arrested?  Good lord, no.  What kind of message would that send?  That we have to have morals?  That we have to give up shameless television?  That would be unamerican!

So leave the idiots alone.  Rather, take a few minutes to do what we do… enjoy some trashy reality TV.

This low key approach to security is such a relief to see, if you care to remember the G20 summit which I made fun of in The Circus is in Town. True security lies in being unobtrusive, which the Queen usually manages quite well, as she has such outings quite often without being recognised. And even when recognised, she is probably more secure being with her people than with any security guard. But then, she represents democratic values better than any elected leader in this world. Even diehard republicans wouldn’t want to replace her with an elected president, especially if such a choice could be a war criminal like Tony Blair.

The Queen’s approach to security also sheds some light on the security arrangement for Royal B listers like Prince Andrew, the Duchess of York, and their brood, Prince Edward, the Countess of Wessex, and their brood. Is it really necessary to spend millions of tax money every year on their bodyguards? Probably they would just fade into oblivion where they belong, as the only news you ever get of them is the row over security costs.

It highlights some other differences as well. While Princess Anne and Princess Alexandra and their families always managed quite well to keep a low profile and yet to represent the crown most efficiently, their security arrangements are very low key as well. Getting me back to the point where fading into the wallpaper is the best way to keep out of trouble.

The Comtesse de Pommery once noted before going to the United States: “You just have to have a security guard with you all the time if you don’t want to fade into the wallpaper when showing your face in the States.” It is this turning around of cause and effect that makes security big business as 90 percent of the self proclaimed VIPs wouldn’t need it if they could accept that they are as important as wallpaper.

Do you want to become a VIP? One of the first steps you should take then is hiring a bodyguard. It will make you as important as Britney Spears in just no time once you start showing up at parties and in places with your life shadow. Obviously, the real work only starts there, when you have to get the invitations to parties and places where it counts to have a bodyguard. Turning up Sundays at church with one won’t do you any good in that direction.

I’m a person of routine, some call it OCD, I prefer to call it routine. I get up in the morning. I make coffee. I sit down at my computer and go to my homepage to see what’s happening in the world. AOL mentioned Jon and Kate no less than four times today and that’s just on my homepage. What, exactly, have these two done to earn our minute-by-minute attention? What is their claim to fame, the fact that they managed to have eight kids? I work with a woman who has six and number of grandchildren that she helps support. Can she get a little love?

I don’t have a clue why these two hold such an attraction for the public. What’s today’s drama about? Does Jon have a new girlfriend? Did Kate cheat during the marriage? Oh right, Jon took money out of their joint bank account. Kate, honey, let me tell you something. If you look up dog in the dictionary, one definition is soon to be x-husband. This kind of thing happens every day, sometimes the x-wife steals the money. How does this warrant an interview on the Today Show? Just as an added aside, if you can afford to hire Marty Singer as a lawyer, how bad can it be, really.

We live in a world of Reality TV. I accept that. I’m not happy about it but I accept it. Even given the meager definition of entertainment these days, I don’t see how two parents exploiting their eight kids in news worthy. Let’s look at Reality TV for a second. What did these two do to warrant their own show? They are not the Top Chefs or America’s Next Top Models. They aren’t COPS or forensics scientists. They don’t design clothes or chase fugitives. I just don’t get it.

I feel old when I write a column that discusses the problems with today’s society. I’m not really that old but I do remember a time when privacy was something people would strive for. My parents weren’t perfect. As an adult, I know how dysfunctional our family was but as child, I didn’t have a clue. That’s because my parents understood their job was to shield my siblings and me from the complexity of adulthood. Relationships are complicated. I can’t help but feel bad for these eight Gosselin children. What type of value system are they being taught when their parents air all their dirty laundry on TV?

As a community, we need to stop supporting this type of behavior. Whether you have one child or eight, we need to redefine our priorities. I don’t need to know who the Baby Daddy is or that you slept with your father for ten years. Do you enrich the lives of your children, in any way, by talking trash about their father to the media? Of course not, children are meant to think their parents are Gods until the time the old enough to know differently.

I do find comfort in knowing that eventually Jon and Kate will have worn out their welcome with the public. Those two and their eight little Gosselins will fade into obscurity. The kids will grow up and then have their own TV show called something like ‘Gosselin 8: We all Growed Up Now.’ One will be a recovering alcoholic. Two will be in rehab. We’ll follow the life of one as he/she serves out a prison sentence. They all hate their parents and exploit their kids. Reality TV, much like abuse, is doomed to be a vicious cycle. Then, I suppose, I’ll stick my elderly head out the window, take a deep breath, and yell again.

Until next time … Peace
Darla

Previously in the headlines, videos of the 31 year old reporter, taken without her consent or even knowledge, had been leaked onto the internet. The videos featured Erin naked in a hotel room and had been taken through a modified the peephole fitted into the door.

Image via Wikipedia

It emerged that the videos had been available on the website ‘Daily Motion’ for several months but it was July before her identity in the video was revealed.  Erin’s legal council acted quickly to remove the video but, such is the nature of the internet, it’s still out there.

On the 11th of September Erin appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show to talk about the video. She described the ordeal as a nightmare she was ready to wake from. She originally thought the video would herald the end of her career, but stated she was now ready to get back out there and do her job.

At the time, there had been wide speculation as to who recorded and posted the videos and this week; there has finally been a breakthrough in the case.

Michael David Barret, a Chicago man, was arrested on Friday night accused with recording the unauthorised video, allegedly on a cell phone, and trying to sell it. It emerged that Barret had purposefully stalked Erin in order to take the videos, with the intention of selling them. He had already contacted TMZ, a celebrity gossip website.

With substantial evidence against Barret including telephone and credit card records there is little doubt over the outcome of the trial. Erin herself is said to have played a key role in the case and has plans to file civil lawsuits against anyone publishing the videos. If convicted he will face up to five years in federal prison.

“This is clearly welcome news,” Said Josh Krulewitz an ESPN spokesman. “Our thoughts and support continue to be with Erin, who has demonstrated tremendous strength and determination.”

Erin has expressed her relief in the outcome of the case. She has since returned to the air and continues to provide sports coverage.

Image via Wikipedia

Boortz arrived in Atlanta in 1967 and started working in Rich’s department store. He lucked into an early morning talk show at WRNG, later with a promise of more money he moved on to WGST radio. He continued to work several jobs, including construction and selling carpet. He eventually attended the John Marshal School of Law and graduated with a degree in 1977. He practiced as a commercial real estate lawyer until his wife, whom he calls the queen, concerned about all the stress, convinced him to stop practicing law in 1992. He was hired in 1993 by WSB, owned by Cox enterprise.

Boortz says, “As a radio performer, I learned to walk as close to the edge as I can. There is no scripting, It’s all stream of conscious stuff. I’ve been on the air for I don’t know how many thousands of hours.  The Pope himself, couldn’t talk for so many hours and not say something he’d wish he could take back.” Boortz was surprised as anybody when he found out he was up for the National Radio Hall of Fame in the ” Nationally Syndicated Radio Host” category.

Image via Wikipedia

On his talk show you can hear the mischief in his voice as he hassles his callers with his outrageous opinions. If you ever call in on his show have all your facts straight and don’t be easily thrown off track. He really enjoys all callers who have an argument to make. He calls himself a Libertarian and has co written a book on the Fair Tax plan and supports former president Bush’s war on terror.You may like him or you may hate him or you may be like I am and enjoy him for the mischief he’s always up to.

http://newsflavor.com/alternative/the-georgia-drought-is-over/

http://quazen.com/reference/biography/Bobby-Lee-from-Summerville.Ga.

http://authspot.com/tales/small-town-georgia/

Eminem is, of course, not actually dead.  There are actual rumors of such floating around the internet as we speak:

http://newsnidea.com/10433/eminem-death-rumour-eminem-dies-in-fatal-car-accident/

http://www.inquisitr.com/33413/eminem-death-rumor-was-eminem-killed-in-a-car-crash/

Or perhaps it’s just a rumor of a rumor.  Even Better!  We don’t really care.  We just crave stories like heroin addicts.  If Eminem had actually died, it’s a fairly safe bet we’d all know rather quickly.  And yet you clicked onto this link, just as I clicked on the original.  Because it’s who and what we are.  We are suckers, and will continue to be so……

This is something that happens nearly every day;  Here are some of the more famous (or infamous) ones:

• Eddie Murphy
• Bruce Willis
• Britney Spears
• Miley Cyrus

And there were more, Harrison Ford and Jeff Goldblum, to name a few.  But things like this aren’t limited to celebrity deaths.  We, the internet crowd, fall prey to some of the better hoaxes consistantly… here are some classics.

The Montauk Monster

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The Derbyshire Fairy

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Hurricane Lili Waterspouts

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 The Internet Drunk Surfing Bill

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Hercules the Dog

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Lonleygirl15

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How to charge an Ipod with an onion and Gatorade…

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     If there is a lesson to be learned here it’s this;  we’re all pretty dumb, and proving so is usually funny.

Kanye West is a moron.  There isn’t any room for debate on the subject;  he is a complete ass, and has been for some time.  I have heard, in recent days, excuses ranging from a troubled childhood to addiction issues.  To whit I reply…..bullsh*t.  He is an idiot.  This is what happens when you take a mid grade performer with only marginal talent and turn him into a pop icon.  You put him up on a pedestal, surround him with adoring fellow morons, throw a spotlight on him.  How exactly are we surprised by this?   This is what our mainstream music offers up, and like lemmings, we drink it in.

Our standards have gone directly into the toilet.  Rap music used to scare us, and justifiably so.  Public Enemy’s Fear of a Black Planet terrified middle class white parents.

It was brutal;  it was scary, and most of all, it was real.  This was the life these men lived.  There was an integrity here.  These were angry kids trying to open the eyes of a generation.  You have to wonder what Chuck D  would say about West’s antics.  The’New king of Pop’ he calls himself.  Has the genre truly fallen so far?  Of course. 

Rap music, as a whole, is about how much bling you wear, and how well you are able to rap about how great you are.  How hood you are.  What was once a music swimming in revolution has now become commercial dribble, and the likes of Kanye West are the excrement it leaves behind.

In an ideal world, this idiot would lose his record deal and his celebrity status.  Lord knows he doesn’t deserve it.  But he won’t.  If anything, this will give a boost to the new ‘king of pop’ and his record sales.  The only fool greater than this one is the one who buys his next album.

This is our kids role model?

Need I say more?

He was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in early 2008, he was given only two weeks to live despite his diagnosis he continued to work over the next 20 months. Celebrities like Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, and even Larry King all gave their condolences on Twitter.

The actor vowed to fight the disease and had treatment with an experimental drug. Although he refused to take any painkillers during filming for “The Beast”, saying it might take the edge off his performance. Even though he will be missed greatly we will still have him through his films.