Celebrity, Depression and the People That Care

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The months of February and March of 2007 celebrity deaths due to depression scarred the news. Comedian Richard Jeni, Richard Delp of the rock group Boston and the most noted Anna Nicole Smith depression related deaths scored front page headlines. Their deaths expose many questions surrounding the events. Most of them left to the wind as open-ended quandaries. If you are like most people, you question the role of those that were supposed to care for them. The answer many times is not as you imagined. The reason behind this is the lack of true depression awareness and understanding in our society.

Fame, fortune and depression

There are sites devoted to pigeonholing the famous as either having a depression disorder or possibly having a depression disorder. The fascination does not come from knowledge or respect of the disease. It comes from the inbred disbelief that someone who has obtained a “privileged status” like this in our society would have such a problem. It is as if the public feels “you are rich and famous and that makes you immune.”

A possible exception

Of the aforementioned group, Anna Nicole Smith is the one who people will generally rate an emotional bye. After all, her son died shortly after the birth of her daughter. Child bearing and the after birth especially in older woman like Anna are known to cause hormonal havoc to the body. Pile on the death of your only son on top and you have a basic overload on the person’s physical, mental and emotional well being. Still, the questions return all return to the roles of the friends, family and lovers.

The question of “Where were they for them?”

First of all, it is bad enough a suicide impacts family and friends with guilt. When it comes to the famous public perceptions adds to the emotional disarray. Anna Nicole Smith’s companion, Howard K. Stern, received tepid reactions when he deferred that nobody told Anna what to do. The fact is Stern’s words echoes the sentiments of frustration most people who live with a loved one suffering from depression experience. This comes from the fact that society as a whole is not prepared to handle people who suffer depression. Most rely on the myths surrounding the disease and have no real awareness on the subject.

What is the right thing?

There are no real answers because depression is a case by case issue. Richard Jeni was a comedian highly respected by his peers and fans. His family knew he suffered from major depression and were the first to admit, he committed suicide. Richard Delp was preparing for marriage and the band, Boston had a new album, which for most people meant he should have been in an up mode. Yet, his fiancée who knew he suffered depression is left wondering what went wrong? The source for this grief is society’s perception depression is a weakness not a disease. In society, we are taught that we have to protect the weak. Therefore, in Jeni’s, Smith’s and Delp’s situation, we view their immediate support family and lover’s failed them. The fact is most of this people did not have the knowledge or awareness and if they did it was out of their hands. You have to actually live through such a situation to truly understand.

The last line of defense in depression

It is not the family, the friends, the doctor’s, or the support group that is the core to helping a depressed person. It is the person themselves. If the person who is suffering from depression does not turn to him or herself for steps needed for self care then all is lost. Depression causes a person to retreat within. Some describe depression as a form of narcissism because of this retreat. What people who don’t have to deal with someone suffering from depression can not understand is in a way the sufferer is in control. Yet, society views depression sufferers as victims. Here lies the contradiction. A victim as we know it is not in control. It is no different from a person who hides in a cave and blocks the opening. No one can reach them until they are ready to remove the blocks.

Don’t feel sorry for Richard Jeni, Anna Nicole and Richard Delp

Save your grief for those who tried and were left behind. Hiding behind the grief will not solve anything either. Learning to understand will give you a step in a positive direction. Depression is best dealt with in the early stages. Think of it as an open wound left untreated. The wound becomes infected which then turns gangrene. Gaining knowledge of depression will aid you into developing awareness. Awareness can help you to suspect depression in the early stages.

Knowing the stages of depression by default

In my life, I experienced many people who suffered from depression. A childhood friend whom others and I watched undergo the change, and finally gave himself a shotgun salute. A former girlfriend supposedly living life on the upswing, took her life with common over the counter pills in a moment of weakness. A casual friend who worked hard to achieve his life goals took his life in a backyard shed. The irony being the man known as a doting protective father would be found by his youngest child. I watched up close as a person I really cared for fell into a depression, resisted treatment and turned on me. Part of the problem was the person initially withheld the fact they were a chronic depression sufferer. The reason for nondisclosure was rooted in the fear of loss. That fear cost us both the relationship.

The time step toward awareness

I began the process of developing awareness in mid crisis. That was not the best way to learn anything. In high school, you get a general psychology course that can only gloss over the subject. It makes no sense given the fact that teen depression in our country is on the fast track to record numbers. Depression should be a mandatory high school class. I do not mean like the sex education health class that the kids blow off.

Where to begin?

I asked that question of myself many time. Questions are answers waiting to be found. Many times the answers are found inside yourself. I began by taking up the mantle of teaching Depression Awareness seminars. Teaching awareness is not to be confused with teaching diagnosis. It is about learning the signs and becoming aware of the possibilities early. Developing awareness is not only taking in of information but also discussing it and sharing its different aspects. That is the initiative behind the Rich Naran’s Depression Awareness website and accompanying RNC Share To Become Aware forum. People can learn, share and develop a better base of knowledge in order to cope with depression. You can give into adversity or grow from it. I made my choice and this website is one place you can help make yours.

The Jeni’s, the Delps and the Smiths

They are not only celebrities. They are everyday people with everyday friends and family. They are you and I. Give their friends and families what you would what for your own. For me, it would be empathy and compassion.