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Pippa Middleton, formerly infamous for going commando (i.e. wearing no knickers or underpants) at the Royal Wedding of her sister (the now Princess Kate Middleton), is back in the untalented celebrity spotlight following a gun slinging incident in Paris, France. This is a story they wanted suppressed so read it with glee!

Coat of Arms of Kate Middleton (prior to her marriage to Prince William the Duke of Cambridge on the 29 April 2011); the arms are derived from those granted to her father (Michael), borne on a lozenge as an unmarried woman. This coat of arms in this form is now used only by her sister Philippa Middleton. Blazon: On a lozenge, “Per pale Azure and Gules a Chevron Or cotised Argent between three Acorns slipped and leaved Or” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Pippa Middleton Rides Through Paris at the Age of 37

So Pippa Middleton was being pursued (according to a story broadcast on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme this early morning Tuesday 17th April 2012 but since dropped from its schedule) by paparazzi through Paris in a manner reminiscent of the last journey of dead princess Diana.

Pippa – who was at the time allegedly wearing her underpants (aka knickers in the English vernacular) was in a speeding car escaping from the attentions of freelance photographers, her horse like head fully exposed, as she rode in the front passenger seat of the car. Meanwhile her oh so hurray Henry friend was driving like a macho madman but was too slow and unable to make a getaway. What could these over privileged @ wipes do to flee from the attention they really craved but wanted to seemingly avoid?

The British royal family on Buckingham Palace balcony after Prince William and Kate Middleton were married. Detail of the picture: Pippa Middleton and Prince Philip. (Photo credit: Wikipedia). In the dress worn without knickers (aka underpants).

Goofy Idiots Living the Life YOU will Never!

The solution to their rich kid dilemma was unintentionally genius but also totally unacceptable – even more unacceptable than the high status wombs they crawled out of and the patronised sperm which saw their favoured insemination – the daddy’s boy driver hoisted a gun and pointed it at the bike riding papper.

One Law for YOU but Another Law for Chinless Wonders

Not to worry, Pippa Middleton has got away with it. It is uncertain as to whether her chum (the Nazi uniform wearing Prince Harry who is often to be seen behaving badly in London nightclubs) had anything to do with keeping the incident quiet but we’ll never know. Perhaps her sister, now a skeleton waiting to be enthroned as soon as Queen Elizabeth the II carps it, used her newly received “get out of jail free card” (like those issued in the game Monopoly but real) but we’ll never know about that either. After all, the incidents described in this quickly dashed of rant are only alleged and not even that anymore.