A Discourse on Gossip

How can you know it’s gossip? The person carrying the
tale usually starts off with “Promise me you won’t tell…” or “Have you heard
the latest?” These are preludes to dangerous discourses about the
shortcomings, faults, failures and weaknesses of others. Sometimes the
tales are so bizzare that the person listening can only remark, ” Are you
serious?” or “Really!” or “You don’t say!”

The whole purpose of gossip is to tingle the ears of the listener. A
person who is good at gossiping usually strings out the punch line on a
long string so as to keep the listener spellbound. Gossip is detrimental,
dangerous, and is also designed to color a person’s opinion of a particular
person or a group of people. It’s detailed and graphic, filled with “I believe,”
or “As far as I know…” Actually the gossiper knows very little of the situation,
but is carrying the tale secondhand, or even third or fourth hand. Often
conjectures are added to the tale to flavor it more pungently.

It is said that most women like to gossip, however, it is not uncommon to
know about a man or two who keeps the gossip lines buzzing. Usually, they
have nothing else to do, but look, listen, and report to whoever will listen.
One would think in this rapid paced society nobody would have time for
gossip. Quite the contrary, gossip makes for news for people who have
plenty of time on their hands. Boredom is alleviated often by gossiping.
It makes for conversation pieces. Often adlibbing, a gossiper does better
than a stand up comedian in holding one’s attention.

People who are gossipers are so known. We might say they twist the
truth, or get the truth confused, or just plain lie. Gossipers carry merchandise
just like stores, however their merchandise is defective and unreliable. We,
in our minds, label these fallacious persons as people who cannot be
trusted. We don’t entrust our secrets to them–ever!

Gossip can sever friendships, and often does. Gossip profiles people
without giving them a chance to prove who they really are. It has the potential
to cause relationship loss, job loss, marriage loss, loss of trust, and even
loss of life. It’s cruel, cold, demeaning, and potentially explosive. It tends to
result in gross misunderstandings, confusion, and violence. Unless it is
met head on, gossip can fragment and destroy those in its wake.

A pastor once wanted to end gossiping among his members. He asked
them to sign cards pledging to quit malicious gossip. Instead, he encouraged
them to “gossip” about good things. Since they were going to talk, he felt
their energies should be harnessed and turned into a good purpose. The
woman in the congregation who was the most notorious known gossiper
signed the pledge card.

To everyone’s amazement, she re-channeled
her gossip by saying only good things about people. She sought for every
opportunity to encourage the youth and teenagers of the church by praising
them and telling others to cheer them on. Gradually, everyone in the church
saw the change and acknowledged her as being the most encouraging
member of the church.

Those who are prone to gossip might be helped by the following questions:

1. Is the information I am spreading true?
2. Can this news help someone be a better person, or am I using this
   information to tear down another person’s reputation?
3. Would I be willing to share this information with the person/persons
   I am talking about?

Both those who share gossip, and those who listen might consider not only
the sources, but ask the question, “Would I like to be the subject of what is
being said?” The last question to ask is “Is this information good enough to
be published as a biography, or is it trash can worthy?” Hopefully, if we can
take gossip to this level, our children and grandchildren will make wide
detours around the practice.