A No Smoking Reminder

Funny(?) thing happened today. We were strolling through a shopping center in Huddersfield when the tannoy announced, “In line with new government legislation, this shopping center is now a no-smoking area – thank you for your co-operation.”

Now, unless somebody had recently entered the UK having spent their life in a Tibetan monastery, how could the fact that smoking in public places has been banned have possibly escaped their attention? There have been arguments about it, debates, glory alleluias from the no-smoking lobbies and so on ad nauseum. The fact of healthier UK public areas has been hyped up to the gills.

But, no, we obviously need to be reminded of the fact. I am getting really sick of this, “the general public are a bunch of reduced IQ grunts who need their noses wiping for them” attitude that comes over from our wonderful politicians. Now we have “Street Ambassadors” in Halifax for God’s sake. How close to the “guardians” in Plato’s “Republic” is this going to get? It was Plato’s opinion that the people needed “guardians” to protect them from themselves.

The possible shape of things to come?

1. Café supervisors who check to see if you washed your hands after using the loo.
2. ‘Street Nannies’ to give you a lick-wash, using your own hankies of course.
3. Shopping Mall Breath-sniffers – making sure you didn’t sneak a crafty smoke in the toilet.
4. Road-crossing attendants for everybody. They’ll make sure you understand the “walk / don”t walk’ signals (red man / green man in the UK).
5. TV news presenters not allowed to use words of more than two syllables.
6. Complete closure of all fast-food establishments since the Establishment believes people don’t know how to eat sensibly.

Let’s face it, the list is endless and some of the above might not be as silly as it seems at first glance. I sincerely hope it is.