Angelina Jolie Afraid of Real Love?

Is a Woman’s Heart Safer with her Man or Child?

In my opinion, Angelina Jolie, is one of the most breathtakingly beautiful women in the world-physically and spiritually. If I had known that my husband or boyfriend was going to play the love interest of Angelina in a movie, I would have simply packed his bags and bid him farewell. It would not have been his fault to fall prey to her brooding, mysterious sexiness that oozes through every pore of her being.

Angelina Jolie has everything: extraordinary beauty, wealth, fame and as if this isn’t enough; she is Brad Pitt’s baby momma. When she is not globetrotting as a Goodwill Ambassador to feed the hungry she is home caring for her 3 adopted children and biological daughter. Of course she has the financial resources to hire nannies and other support personnel to help manage her home and care for her children. But let’s be honest here, how many wealthy celebrities (who are not copycatting Angelina) spend their financial and social resources caring for minority orphans? Not many.

Why would a woman who has everything continue to adopt more children? Is having or adopting several children fair to the child? Is Angelina capable of giving each child the individual quality time and love that he or she deserves? Does she adopt more children because her heart is bursting with so much more love than the average person? Or does Angelina need the unconditional love, admiration and adoration that each child will feed her self-esteem and self worth? I think that the reason Angelina Jolie is adopting more children is because she is afraid of true intimate love; the kind that can be painful and explosive. The kind of love that has the potential to shatter the human heart into billions of tiny little pieces that is shared between two people who are voluntarily in love and who share an equal amount of power in the relationship. Angelina is afraid of the kind of love that involves risk where we have no control over the outcome; no matter how much of ourselves we pour into the relationship to make it work.

According to Wikipedia, Jolie has been long estranged from her father, Jon Voight blaming his infidelity for the break-up of her primary family. After her parents’ separation in 1976, Jolie and her brother were raised by their mother, Marcheline Bertrand, who abandoned her acting ambitions and moved with them to Palisades, New York. In my opinion, this is when she learned not to trust men-at least not with the parts of her heart that really matters. Angelina watched her mother, Marcheline; heal her own broken heart by pouring all of her love into the day-to-day tasks of raising Angelina and her brother. This is also when Angelina learned how to transmute pain and disappointment by redirecting her intimate emotions into the daily care and maintenance of the demanding needs of children.

The wonderful thing about pouring all of your love into caring for children is that you forget to cry. Children’s demanding needs gives mothers the strength to put off crying until later-a later time when the children can’t see mommy crying. Mothers make an appointment with themselves to cry later-after the dishes are put away, after the children have completed their homework, after the school play is over, after the bedtime story, after the children go to sleep… they put off crying for so long that before they know it they have forgotten to cry at all. This is when most women learn to detach their emotions from themselves as sexual beings. Does giving a child all of our love, time and attention really dry up all of our tears or does it leave a part of our heart saturated in distrust?

Single or married mothers many times learn to psychologically and physically detach themselves from their male partners and transform their needs of emotional intimacy into kissing and hugging their children and no longer acting like or perceiving themselves as sexual beings. They would much rather express affection with their children than with their male partner. After having children, many women stop desiring sex, stop wearing make-up or putting that extra special attention into their appearance or male partner. The child becomes the primary focus of the relationship and the intimacy between the man and woman dissolves.

Angelina’s relationship with Billy-Bob Thornton did not last, but her adopted son Maddox is still a significant part of her life. If her relationship doesn’t work with Brad Pitt, she can forget to cry by pouring her attention and love into raising their children and possible adopting more. It is safe to love a child. Your role in that child’s life can never be replaced. Unless you choose to give it up. Most children will always believe that their mother is the most beautiful woman in the world, even when her hair is gray, breasts sag and her faced is etched with wrinkles. It is safe to love a child because they are expected to leave home and their mistakes are much easier to forgive.

Unknowingly, women sometimes use their children to shield them from a possible heartbreak. But the shield that is used to protect their hearts also closes it off from developing vulnerability and a level of trust that is the foundation of attracting a mutual intimate, trusting, loving relationship with their male partner. Children are safe to love because you can tell them when to go to bed and wake up in the morning. Children love their mothers in a special way, however a different type of love emerges from the child that transfers to their first crush on the girl down the street, third grade teacher, prom date, first love to marriage. Mother’s knows that their sacred space in their child’s heart belongs only to them.

Loving a man is different from loving a child. The spot in your man’s heart holds the memories of so many lovers before us. You are not the first and may not be the last to temporarily own this spot in his heart. Unlike the child’s magnetic stare into his mother’s eyes, the man’s eyes wonder to admire, adore and become aroused by other women. Women instinctively know that their love is far safer with their child than with their man. Women who heal their broken hearts by over compensating their love and attention to their children, teach their children that it is unsafe to trust and give whole heartedly in a healthy adult relationship.

Are you substituting the intimate love that should be expressed between a man and woman to the love that is shared between a mother and child? Read below and find out.

Unhealthy Love Transference that destroy intimacy in adult relationships

1. Do you put your child in the bed between you and your mate?
2. Have you stopped wearing make up or dressing sexy?-You want to always be ready for milk, vomit and playing in the sand at a moment’s notice
3. Do you attend functions or activities with your mate because it is important to them – without the children?
4. Do you let children go on dates and special occasions, honeymoons, with you and your mate?
5. Do you reject functions that do not allow children?
6. When your children are not around you and your mate, barely exchange two words with each other
7. If you and your mate are not discussing the children, you have nothing to talk about
8. Do you set aside time that should not be interrupted once or twice a week to watch television, go to the movies, have dinner with your mate that does not include the child(ren)
9. Are you always too tired for sex or snuggling with your mate because you are exhausted from chasing the kids?
10. Do you know deeply in your heart where no one can see but you that the only hugs and kisses you really want are from your children. Your mate turns you off sexually. .