Blaming the Victim for Lack of a Burka
Published by Brenda Nelson on July 11, 2009 in Opinions-
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A woman who is raped is a victim regardless of how she dressed.
The conversation started when one person asked if a Rape Victim were to kill her attackers, should she be charged. Eventually somebody stated they felt that the victim of rape was just as much to blame as her attackers if she were provocatively dressed. That in their religion/culture of Islam women are to wear burkas for their own protection, not to entice a man to rape her.
I personally find this laughable. It takes away any blame from the man for failing to control his own actions. I proposed that a woman should be able to lay naked in the streets if she wanted to and still should not be the victim of rape. Granted she might be arrested for indecent exposure, but she should not be raped simply for being naked, nor should she be accused of “asking for it”.
A man should be taught from childhood that just because he sees something he wants, does not mean he can have it. This should include everything from candy, to toys, to cars, to women. A parent does not have to give in to a child’s pleas and needs to establish in that child the ability to accept not getting everything they want. Sadly many parents take the lazy route and allow the child to bully them into getting things. This even goes to the point when a child steals something, or breaks something in a store, the parent, to save their own embarrassment, does nothing about it. Also some boys are made to feel shameful about their sexual emotions and desires.
Then we wonder why they cannot control themselves when it comes to rape.
The burka, is not going to protect a woman from being the victim of rape, a mans own self control is going to protect a woman from being raped. If a woman has to be kept so fearful of men that she cannot show skin, other than the small area around her eyes, the problem is NOT with the woman, it is with the men.
There is no excuse or reason why a woman should have to protect herself from a man. Even a woman dressed provocatively should not be held in any way accountable if a man rapes her. It is the man who did the crime. If a woman teased a man and intentionally led him on in some way that is a bit more of a problem, but still not an excuse for rape.
Yet in some countries, if a woman is raped she is punished as a criminal for inviting it in some way.
A person whose home is robbed because they went to work for that day is not blamed for the crime done to them.
A person can carry a wallet, get robbed, and not be blamed that because they had a wallet they were asking to be robbed.
Blaming the victim is a poor way of dealing with the actual problem, and possibly another way of trying to control and oppress women.
While the world owes a tremendous debt of gratitude to Islam for its cultural, scientific and literary contributions, they can be seen as the most backward, obstinate and self-righteous self-appointed moral authority that has ever existed. They have suspicions for instance, that vaccinations are a ‘Jewish conspiracy.’ Oh puh-lease! Get a grip! :-\
The dichotomy between what devote Islam believers proclaim and their actions is proof enough that the blind really cannot see. I just try to not engage in any conversations with them for it’s like arguing with a Klingon! :-/
But Mr. Harveen Singh I would like to ask you the question that how did you saw the same women kissing the boy although she was wearing Burka the previous day? It is impossible because burkas hide the women completely. Thus you are unable to identify them. Here you commented that Burka women are not religious indeed. Yes I agree with you but here Islam should not be blamed. In Islam, women can show their faces, hands etc to a doctor if its neccessary, if they are found for commiting a crime then they can show their faces, hands etc to the judge and others. You can clearly imagine the scene of two sisters with same faces. One in Burka and other in some kind of bikini. Now tell who would you more look at the Bikini one or the burka one. You can easily give the answer if you are boy!!! Therefore I humbly request that women also encourage men for rape.
As a member of the original conversation this article is pertaining too. I just want to say that the woman should not be blamed for the rape. But that a woman who ignores social customs can inadvertently invite unwanted attention upon herself that may lead to a rape. There is what is right and then there is what is reality. If you are in California and choose to wear short shorts and a tank top you will probably blend right in but try this in downtown Riyadh you will find yourself in trouble with the law in addition to drawing unwanted attention to yourself. I heard of an incident where a us Military woman was letting a little too much hang out and a local saudi Official reported it to the base commander. This woman bitched, moaned and complained but all the base commander could tell her is we are guests here quit acting like a child. It took a threat of court martial and jail time to get her to quit dressing like Air force barbie.
I do think we should take some responsibility for how we dress so as not to embarrass or offend others, especially if we are visiting other countries and cultures. However, I see rape as a dominance/power issue rather than a dress-related or cultural one. It’s wrong to assume that the majority of rapes happen to women who are ‘flaunting themselves’. A woman is never asking to be raped. She might be asking for attention, and even enjoying the appreciative looks that she might be getting with her appearance – and men also sometimes dress to impress – but no still means no, nonetheless.
A woman never “asks” to be raped. Ever.
If Burkhas stops rape, one has to wonder why Pakistan has such a horrible rape rate.
Couldnt comment yesterday but great article!
I have never failed to be completely flummoxed and monumentally pissed whenever this argument surfaces. It’s the oldest trick in the law book for defense attorneys representing rapists and it sickens me no end.
How friggin’ weak must a man be ethically and morally to commit the crime in the first place; then on top of that, claim a weakness in controlling his own ‘instincts’ , thus blaming the woman as the cause?
They’ve proven that rape is more a crime about power than about sexual desire anyways. Both men and women are taught to make excuses for any kind of bad behavior nowadays. Issues are not addressed, emotions are taught to be repressed, and father-son relationships are severely lacking. It’s a wonder that most men know how they should behave.
Well said. A man who rapes a women – regardless of country, religion or upbringing – is a complete and utter coward. Filthy scum sucking coward.
Extremely good article.
I hate the ‘r’ word. But are right in what you say
Rape is rape. The offenders should be sexually reduced.
Unfortunately some girls cry wolf and this makes applying firm laws a bit difficult.
As for dressing head to foot isn’t that mans law?
Clothing will not stop a rapist.
Sadly so called society, if there ever was such a thing, is reverting back to primevil days. Where people run in packs and have little regard for other people, laws, or moral constraints.
I’m living in the middle east for almost 8 years now and wearing or covering the whole body of a woman does not prevent these vicious men to do their evil desires.
Thanks for sharing
“Islam for its cultural, scientific and literary contributions”
I beg to differ.
It’s the same story everywhere in the world, it seems. The problem isn’t just in the Islamic countries. But, those who blame the victim – whether individuals or people in policing or government are equal in responsibility with the perpetrator. The rapist and his aider and abettors are one and the same. And, anyone who makes excuses for a rapist or allows them to get away with it is an accessory to rape.