Article Tools

I felt compelled to answer a question that former Faux-President George Walker Bush asks, as his likeness waves from a billboard…

  GWB Do You Miss Me Yet?


  Driving down the road, you may notice the corporate sponsored bill boards featuring the ugly mug of George Walker Bush as he waves over the catchphrase, “Do you miss me, yet?” As you pull off the road, and ponder the question, you may find yourself at a loss for words. So, I would like to offer my humble answer to our non-elected faux-President’s question.


  Yes, George, I miss you. I miss you dearly. I miss you like the drowning citizens of New Orleans missed you as they fought for their lives. I miss you like the Nation was missing you on 9/11/2001. I miss you like I miss the overtime and wages I used to make, before you helped to destroy our economy. I miss you like I miss the value of my house, when I first bought it. I miss you like I miss the returns on my 401k, that I was told I HAD to have in order to retire because I would soon be missing the Social Security that you wanted to privatize. I miss you telling everyone that every single citizen has a right to an expensive home, not a crappy one, regardless if they can pay for it. I miss your facial ticks, your inappropriate statements, your gutteral moans and incomplete sentences. I miss your incoherent rants and your classy pet names that you gave to your friends…like ‘Turd-Blossom’. I miss your innate ability to completely deconstruct the positive image of this country. I miss the twinkle in your eye, and the way you crinkle your nose when you order the death of millions of Iraqi civilians. I miss your blatant child-like stupidity, and lack of social skills.

  I miss you like the American Indians miss the Pilgrims. I miss you like the Jews miss Hitler. I miss you like a legal hardworking tax-paying American citizen misses having the Supreme Court appoint a President. I miss you like I miss cancer, drug-addiction, herpes, leprosy, and reality television shows. I miss you as much as I miss everything bad that has ever happened to me, or the human race.


  Yes, George, I miss you.


  Do you have any more stupid questions that you would like to ask?