Dying: A New Trend?

Of course, you’re wondering what that title is all about right? Well, I’m just writing an article about all the celebrity deaths over the course of 2008-2009. First off, MICHAEL JACKSON. He died at age 50 on June 25, 2009. The thing that everyone found strange was that he had been perfectly fine days before. Then the media released the video of his rehearsal. He was popping and grooving! HE LOOKED FINE, RIGHT? Yesterday, TMZ found out that doctors were performing the autopsy and found needle marks ALL OVER HIM, and theorized that some naughty doctors were giving Jackson DRUGS. WHOA HOLD THE PHONE! Michael Jackson was stickin’ himself?!

Also on June 25, came, or should I say “went” Farrah Fawcett. Now, I know that the cancer took over her body and killed her BUT it got me thinking. She wasn’t exactly a senior citizen yet, and the doctors said that the cancer hadn’t been attacking as hard at the moment. So, if it wasn’t cancer, what killed Farrah Fawcett?

3 days after Jackson and Fawcett’s death, Billy Mays passed on. For those of you who don’t like watching TV, Billy Mays was the yelling spokesperson for OxiClean and MaxiPutty and all the wonderful products you use. Well, doctors found out that Mays had been hit on the head with luggage while getting on a plane and his heart had become enlarged. They closed the case, saying that his heart condition had caused his death. The detail that made me think of Jackson? Billy Mays and Michael Jackson were both 50.

Other celebrity deaths, whether recent or not, were Bea Arthur (April 25 2009), Bernie Mac (August 9, 2008), who was also 50, Tim Russert (June 13, 2008), and Estelle Getty (July 22, 2008). So my question to you is, WHY CELEBRITIES DROPPING OFF THE EARTH ALL OF THE SUDDEN? Sure Estelle Getty and Bea Arthur (two of the Golden Girls) had “a lot of life points” if you get my drift, and Bea had cancer, but what about Bernie Mac and Tim Russert? They weren’t that old. Sure, Russert had a heart attack but the doctors had told him he was healthy. Should we blame the doctors? The government? Maybe we should turn to Dick Cheney and his gun? Or maybe professional hit men.

There is also an explanation required for all the disappearances of celebrities. Ben Wright, who played Jack in the 1987 production of Into the Woods, was last sighted in 2005. Kim Crosby, who played Cinderella in Into the Woods, was last publicly sighted in 1995. Jo-Marie Payton, Harriette in Family Matters, was last seen in 2006, in Desperate Housewives. What about Matt LeBlanc, from Friends, who was last seen in 2006? Or Chad Kimball, who was last seen in 2000. Where are all of them going? They just dropped off the face of the Earth.

What I’m basically trying to say is, WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE GOING? Dying and disappearing? Theories? The apocalypse is coming, God doesn’t like them, or it’s just a coincidence. What do YOU think?

-Brianna Shain