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I happen to have my opinion on gay marriage. Whoever you are, you will probably not agree, but that’s just tough, isn’t it?

Gay marriage. This is a very controversial topic and even bringing up your opinion will anger at least half the people around you. Well, I’m awfully excited right now, because I’m about to anger all of them.

There are two major reasons gays want to get married. One, they want the legal benefits of being married, which I think they should have. If the two of them, as a pair of human beings, are living together and depend on one another just as a man and wife should be able to, then they should have the legal benefits of it. 

Second, they have this imbecile opinion that if they get gay marriage legalized then everyone agrees that being gay is all right. I don’t give a damn if they legalize gay marriage, homosexuality is wrong, guy or girl, and I will never believe otherwise. That being said I want to make it clear that I’m against homosexuality, and not homosexuals.

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Now, as I am ever so kind and benevolent, I have developed a plan to ensure that this argument is ended once and for all.

First, we tell all the bleeding heart liberal hippies that there’s an interracial gay couple having sex on a burning American flag in California to protest the war in Iraq (California because that’s where all the gay supports are, duh!). They would all flock to California because we all know that all gay protests are held in California and that all liberals support gay marriage and the burning of the American flag and would cross the country to participate in a protest to support the right to do these two things.

Second, we would tell all the Bible thumping conservative dictators that there is an interracial gay couple having sex on a burning American Flag in Texas. All the conservatives would flock to Texas because we all know that all conservatives are redneck pricks who lynch gays and blacks while having sex with their sister.

Now that we have everyone in their respective place, we bomb the brains out of both states. No more rednecks and no more hippies! As a bonus, we no longer have any happy cows in California and we don’t have to deal with any over sized bull crap that comes from Texas because “Texas does everything bigger”.

This would leave only the homeless, people with IQ’s too low to even begin to navigate the fecal storm that we endearingly call politics, and me. I would be supreme overlord and that would own.