Manifesto From a Liberal Version of a Conservative
Finally a conservative comes clean.
We are the latter day incantation of Marie Antoinette. That’s right, we want everyone to just eat cake. Or if they can’t do that eat economic dust because we are for the rich and hate the poor. We hate the poor because they don’t have any money. Well they did once but because of us not any more. We made things so that their money (the embarrassing little that they have, hate I say) was taken and given to the rich, yea baby!
But we keep it all a secret, you see. Sure we say we want a growing economy and in order to do this we need an environment that produces just that. And sure when we cut taxes for everyone economies grow unemployment goes down and incomes rise, but that is a ruse. The results of our policies may make all tides rise but it is the rich that get richer richer and richer. In fact conservatives have more babies named “Rich” than liberals. Liberals name their babies “Sunshine” or “Cher” as in “Share”, yuk.
Back to the poor. Did I mention hate? That’s because we want them to just go away. We try to tailor the economy to do just that and it works because when people are working it produces less and less of them. Liberals are the darlings of the poor, they love them and need them for the votes. Once liberals are in office they show their love with policies that produce more poor and thus keep them in office producing more hate from us. Liberals are hate producers and since hate is our middle name we thank them. Thanks liberals.
There I said it. An honest conservative. Full of hate. Just how liberals know the things we have been trying to hide all these years is a mystery. Well it’s time to break the silence and show the love for the mean things we like such as greed and a fondness big polluting corporations. But we don’t like big corporations unless they pollute a great deal. We want global warming because when we finally have it we’ll have more places to lounge around in the sun with our expensive drinks the poor can’t afford (love saying that) and bask in the sun.