My Advice to Barack Obama

My advice to president elect Barack Obama (if he wishes to succeed as commander in chief) is that if he has any superhuman abilities, he should reveal them early in his first term. A recent news event suggests that President Bush failed to do so: look at his approval ratings and tell me that I’m not right.

While speaking in Iraq this week, an angry journalist removed his shoes and hurled them at the president. In an almost incredible display of reflexes, he dodged the first loafer only to stare back at his assailant. He stood poised, awaiting a second wave.

Damnit Mr. President, why’d you have to wait until the very end of your 8 term to reveal your puma-like reflexes? Maybe you could have avoided at least some of the negative press if it had been known that you could float like a butterfly. The stinging like a bee bit, which was very clearly in your arsenal, doesn’t really work well alone. Such has been demostrated by your tenure as our Commander in Chief.

Perhaps naysaying journalists would have thought twice before criticizing your decision making skills if they’d known that you could dodge something hurled at so close a range.

The look in your eyes when you looked back at the man after the first round was fired brought us all back to the courage of your leadership in 2001 after the World Trade Center attacks. Approval ratings had never been higher.

Things went down from their. But what if we’d known? What if we’d known that our president could have dodged Balboa’s left hook?

The world might be a different place.