Online Piracy: Terrorism in Disguise

Downloading songs, software, movies, and other similar human-crafted products that would normally cost money proves to be a popular pastime these days, providing anyone with Internet access the ability to save a bit of cash. Although many people still consider this “piracy” morally incorrect and purchase their products, the growing majority of people who download tend to enjoy the lack of purchase involved.

Not only does this mean more money to spend on items necessary for the desired life, but it also decreases the chances of people stealing others credit card numbers. The simplicity of downloading something such as a song, and safety of knowing the chances of getting caught are weak, only strengthen the desire to put Limewire or that Bit Torrent website to some good use. Many feel it is a chance to get back at “the man” (or the music industry) as well, who had been selling music overpriced for far too long.

People may not mind downloading songs by popular artists especially, knowing in good conscious that the artist’s shows rack in more money than they need anyways. Some countries have even legalized P2P music downloading, such as Canada, who hopes to compensate losses by taxing Mp3 players.

Due to the vast number of citizens listening to shared music, there has been a public outcry from the people who find piracy unjust and damaging to the economy. As much as the music industry tries, there seems to be no solution to this problem beyond selling music online which rakes in less money than the physical product. Therefore, out of common courtesy and sympathy for the music industry, the American government has thought out a most impressive (and slightly risqué) plan to end this abomination known as piracy and create a lenitive way out for these most uncorrupted organizations.

Instead of taking Canada’s petty neutral approach to pirates, the American government has decided it’s time to seek justice. With the combined cooperation of Norton Antivirus, MacAfee, and every other antivirus company found, the government will be able to attack from the inside. Considering people download files from unknown locations from other unknown P2P users, the government can implement a file into the network, whether it is in Limewire, Bearshare, Bit Torrent, WinMX, etc. and attach a virus to that specific file, so then the virus is incognito.

The virus will seem insignificant and small; in fact its size will make it near undetectable (being only 50 kilobytes) to even veteran pirates, so that when they choose the file it will seem to be the appropriate size for a decent, unsuspicious download. Thanks to the cooperation of any antivirus software the government knows about, the system will not recognize the virus as a virus at all.

The virus that has been designed by the government has only one main operation and use. Once inside the computer, it will use the system as a temporary bivouac, where it will wait to initiate a countdown of t minus 10 seconds before the user’s monitor is destroyed in a cataclysmic explosion. The explosion in turn will cauterize the users face, sending shrapnel consisting of glass and lead straight into the victim’s eyes, creating an aneurysm in the blood vessels causing a permanent amaurosis.

Following the event of the explosions, the pirates will then eventually see a pattern to the chain of “accidents” that have been going on worldwide, and protest against the P2P networks that provided them such a terrible (yet rather tepid, considering death toll should be low) attempt to kill them. Thousands of people will solve the issue the only way they know how and sue the creators of these programs, putting all P2P program developers at a disadvantage.

It is then that the American government will make its final strike with the sword of justice, and sentence the terrorists that created these P2P programs to be held in prison. From there the government will place the ghastly death penalty on all of the employees, making sure that they will never again create P2P programs and at the same time giving out a warning to all those who may even think about creating one.

In the end, the plan will probably cost billions of dollars due to certain necessary cover-ups, research, infiltration, etc., but this may save the American based music industry, which is more than Canada can say. The economy, criticizers of P2P downloading, music industry, etc. can then rest easy knowing that the end of modern day piracy could be at hand.