That Saddleback Guy’s Prayer

As I like to say to anyone who will listen, I am a proud liberal. If it were up to me, drugs like cocaine and marijuana would grown here, taxed and sold legally with age limit provisions (like alcohol and tobacco). Gay couples would be provided all of the rights and protections I have simply because I’m straight. I don’t really see the problem with paying higher taxes if you make more money, considering most of that money goes right back into the communities it’s put into (I would know, I live in a pretty nice neighborhood). And I think a system at least close to Universal Healthcare is something that should happen sooner in this country rather than later.

That said, I’m having a lot of problems with my peers right now. Well, I’ve always had an issue here and there (as I think war is terrible but necessary evil sometimes) but the matter of evangelist Rick Warren giving the invocation at Barack Obama’s Inaguration has, in my opinion, exposed a very fatal flaw in liberalism.

Yes, I get it… Rick Warren, despite his attempts to come off as ‘moderate’ and his great work with the poor and AIDS is a bigot who believes Jews (and all other non-Christians I’m assuming), gay people and whoever else is going to hell. He assisted in taking away the rights of gay couples in California. He’s an asshole, I understand that.

I can understand the anger there. I mean, if someone stripped me of my rights (and my people have been) I’d be pretty pissed about that. But if there’s anything I’ve learned over the years, especially as someone who is angry about (pretty much) everything in my own right, it can be one of the least constructive emotions in the entire spectrum.

Let’s take a brief walk down memory lane for a moment. Right now, or at least the last time I checked, I’m 5′11″ and weight about 130 pounds. I’m pretty decent looking, keep myself groomed and know how to put together an outfit or two.

I’d love to say I was always like this but there’s a reason why I’m a writer as opposed to say, an all-star wide receiver.

Anyone who was a loser in high school would tell you it sucked and I’m not about to be the exception to that rule. I was tormented, made fun of, teased and even had my ass kicked a few times for good measure. Once, in a fit of (stupid) rage, I attacked one of my tormentors and though I had him for a bit, he quickly regained control of the situation. Sure, it felt good… but only up until the part where my back hit a chalkboard.

By the time I was about to graduate, a few of the same people who wouldn’t even look in my direction in the past told me the wished they had gotten to know me sooner. At this point, I didn’t care for their approval but my change in approach had accidentally given me what I wanted when I got to high school; what I thought I would get if I could just find a way to kick that guy’s ass.

A fair shake.

Sure, I wanted to be ‘popular’ like every other silly teenager but mostly I just wanted people to judge as a person in total, not just in part. To base their opinions of me on my entire personality and not just consider me a hopeless loser because I talked about Dragon Ball Z with other hopeless losers.

Years later, the snap judgments of people still occur. To people who know me because of the bars I go to, I’m a loose lipped drunk who is great for parties but questionable for actual conversation, though I can discuss nearly anything with some competence. To certain white people, I’m the ‘black guy,’ you know… one of those clean and articulate ones who are held up as examples of how black people can make it out the hood if they just try really, really hard, despite the reality that I, like Obama, am the fortunate exception and not the rule. To people with nostalgic notions of masculinity I’m an effete metrosexual because I put some thought into how I look and aspire to work in the beauty and fashion industries.

I could let these biases bother me and for a long time, I did. There were points in my life where I felt completely separated from black people because of some who didn’t get how I could love Jay-Z and Nine Inch Nails at the same time. There were points were I was viscerally reminded that I’m different than my white peers when either something terribly racist would be directed towards me or when my white friends would sort of cringe whenever I did something too ‘black.’

Things like this angered me because to me it never made any sense. Perhaps my life experiences of having lived in both the North and the South and both in the city and the suburbs gave me a sort of innate understanding of the vast complexities of our society. The fact I’m also a mutt like Obama may help or the fact I can easily maneuver between white culture, black and Hispanic cultures. Regardless of how it came about, I’ve always tried to digest the world, especially America, for the beautiful, imperfect and contradictory place it is.

I’ve always viewed this approach as a liberal ideal; to not judge people monolithically (even if they don’t return the favor) and to give everyone their fair shake. So for me, the liberal reaction to the Rick Warren situation was very dishearting. That myopic, ‘us and them’ thinking is something I would expect from the Bill O’Reilly crowd and they aren’t thrilled that Warren is being apart of the secret Muslim’s Inauguration either. I would hope my liberal peers would better understand the bigger picture here.

When the Reverend Wright fiasco happened during the campaign, a lot of the talk centered around one idea; how could Obama sit in that church for as long as he did and not feel exactly the same way Wright did. Obama answered this question in his speech on race far more eloquently than I will here but he basically stated the plain truth… at the end of the day, regardless of their similarities in faith, their ties to the community, their close relationship and the time spent listening to him preach, Barack Obama and Jeremiah Wright are different people and should be treated accordingly.

Now apply that same idea to Rick Warren and the Saddleback Church. Sure, there are a number of people who likely nod and smile every time he talks about the ‘gays’ and the ‘Jews’ going to hell just as people who did the same when Wright goddamned America. But there are also people who, like Barack Obama may share a lot in common with Warren but have no issue with gay people. By sheer probability alone it is highly unlikely that every one of his 50,000 members voted for Proposition 8.

With that said, let me bring it back to the moment I attacked one of the people bullying me. It felt good… damn good in fact. At the end of the day however, it got me absolutely nowhere in a lot of ways, set me back. I was laughed at for my ability to be so easily manhandled and the bully and friends would make sure I paid penance for my transgressions in the future.

Does that sound familiar at all? Protesting in front of churches, taking swipes at the Mormon faith, suggesting a historical moment will be completely ruined because some asshole is giving a generic, three minute prayer… all actions that are carthartic but at the end of the day achieves nothing except make your opponents dig in their heels.

I always hate to be cliche but Gandhi was spot on when he suggested to be the change you wish to see in the world. Change doesn’t start with Barack Obama or any other politician nor will it start with the piece of legislation (or the vote) that will inevitably overturn Proposition 8. At the risk of sounding like a naive, tree hugging hippie, change is only going to happen with you, me and the next person. Change is only going to happen when liberals, progressives, whatever you want to call it, fight the impulse to fall into the monolithic trap our opponents set up for us.

The best thing and also the hardest thing we can do the move this country in the direction we want it to go is to, as we would say in the hood back in the day, not talk about it but be about it. Don’t talk about tolerance but actually be tolerant… yes, even if that person thinks your sexuality makes you a pedophile. The British did absolutely everything they could to Gandhi and his followers to get them to fight but they wouldn’t do it… what they wanted was peace and a fair shake and they did that by being peaceful and giving people a fair shake.

The best thing liberals can do as a unit is the same thing myself, Obama and millions of other Americans have done and continue to do everyday; defying expectations by displaying the entire reality, not just a segment of it. Obama could have gone on about how ridiculous the idea of being a Marxist, Muslim terrorist was but instead he just kept doing his thing and in time the skeptics realized he was different from what some had claimed.

The most important thing Barack Obama has given Liberalism isn’t policy but a blueprint on how to do business in the future. He has shown us you can effectively make your case without overreaching with the attacks on your opponent, that it’s important to focus on the mission even when the opponent is condemning you to hell, saying you aren’t a patriot or blaming you for the financial crisis. Finally, he’s shown us that you can disagree without being disagreeable and with his relationship with Warren, he shows us you don’t have to completely mirror someone’s opinions to respect and be cordial with them.