The Charge of the Shoe-Brigade

What’s happening? Press conferences addressed by VIPs, are becoming the launching pad for a new variety of missiles! The missile is an ordinary shoe or a pair of shoes. And “used shoes”, mind you.

The world has witnessed two “Shoe launches” in two different countries. The first was a few months ago in Bagdad, Iraq and the target was (ex) President Bush. And the next one took place on the 7th of April this year at New Delhi, India. And the Indian Home Minister was the target.

The launchers were ‘journalists’ in both the cases. Great, don’t you think?

The first accused was tried in a court of law and had been sent to jail for 3 years. But the second accused, an Indian journalist from Punjab, is a lucky fellow. He was of course caught red handed and was going to be handed over to the police for necessary action. But the kind and generous Indian Home minister announced, “I forgive him” and along side he also issued orders to the police to let him off. This journalist is now a free man.

Have you taken note of the common features in both the incidents.?

How do we stop this ugly habit of throwing shoes at VIPs at public places.? I agree, it is not a civilized act at all. If someone wants to show his anger at the policies pursued by top guns, aren’t there better and more civilized methods in the modern world than throwing shoes at them?

Anyway, what has happened has happened. Now about the anti-dote measure.

We know that every attendee in a Press conference is frisked before entering the auditorium or hall or whatever. You dare not carry with you a knife or a fire arm there except a writing pad and a pen..

May I propose to the world forum that henceforth, all the journalists attending a Press conference should deposit their shoes at the entrance with a “shoe keeping boy” and walk in bare footed. Could they make the entry with socks on? Oh, no. A pair of socks could be moulded into a fine ball of sorts and thrown with great force at the VIP; it would be capable of travelling a longer distance too. So, that is not on. They should go in with clean feet. The feet may smell of sweat but then you have to accept a little bit of stench in the interest of internal security inside a hall. Now let us see what the journalists would throw at the VIP.

There is however, a method, but I can’t tell you what it is for the time being.

Interested journalists may contact me secretly to get to know what that secret missile is.