The Melding of Celebrity and Cause to Promote or to Scam?

I was googeling for research and I came upon another Angelina Jolie adoption story. No, I am not looking to adopt AJ. I could think of better things to do with her, but alas, she is having her fifteen with Brad. An idea sprang up (I said an idea not a fantasy) and I put in new search words, celebrity and cause. I came up with
AllAmericanSpeakers.com
. What I came away with was closer to the feel of All American Scammers.

The Shill

Here is what the states, “What do the names: Magic Johnson, John Elway, Lauren Hutton, Bob Dole, Joe Piscopo, Kathleen Turner, Jack Nicklaus, Rob Lowe, Lance Armstrong, Loni Anderson, Olympia Dukakis, Joan Lunden and Katie Couric have in common?

They are all high profile celebrities that have used their celebrity status to help raise awareness for important medical conditions. As competition in the drug industry intensifies and pressure mounts on companies to build profits, an increasing number of pharmaceutical companies are employing famous actors, politicians and sports stars to attract consumer and physician interest.”

The “Oh yeah, by the way

The site goes on to list and post pictures and scores of actors, sports athletes, and celebrities. Amid all this hoopla is a disclaimer. They do not represent any of these people. They represent companies, organizations, or whomever that needs to find a celebrity to front their cause. In other words, the pictures of Bill Cosby, Dan Marino, Lance Armstrong may be false hype. The wording is careful by stating, “Featured Sports Speakers and Celebrities Available. It does not indicate they actually have access to these people, it says they are available.

A list with some stiff availability

Here are some plum names from the available speakers list Dwight Gooden former Major League Baseball Pitcher (recently released from jail), and Kirby Puckett, deceased former MLB player. Looking through pro football we have Billy Cannon former NFL Quarterback and admitted counterfeiter, plus one OJ Simpson (I do not need to clarify). Apparently, Bo Schemblechler of college football fame is both dead and available. Coretta Scott King, deceased wife of Martin Luther King Jr. as well as Ed Bradley the recently deceased news broadcaster from 60 Minutes can be tapped for engagements. Checking from the boxing category, we have Willie Pep and Floyd Patterson both deceased but willing to appear. The list of names is extensive including top names from all walks of celebrity plus a host of others who may be alive but their careers and names are long dead. To their credit, I did not find Anna Nicole Smith listed, but I may have overlooked that one. Suspiciously, I did not see Oprah Winfrey, but did see known for being her man, Stedman Graham.

The causes and charities that may have benefited

I want you to keep mind these ones I mention are straight off their pages. Some of the listed are former smokers, birthmarks (I have one on my butt can a celebrity help promote it?), breast augmentation (I thought that was a “be” cause), chemical peels (I never saw Michael Jackson’s name on any of the lists) and male pattern baldness (a niche for my ex-wife’s lawyer since he may want to change careers again. Has anyone told him the Emperor Nero look is so not in?). It goes on to post facelift (have you seen some of those older stars making guest appearances on TV shows?), and sneezing (are either Dustin Hoffman or Olympia Dukakis involved).

Genuine but funny

One disease on the list I never heard of was Whipple’s disease. I thought that was a propensity to squeeze bathroom tissue rolls in public as per the old “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin” commercials. To my surprise, it is a real but rare disease, which is very serious. Unbelievably, a man who shared the name as the character from the commercial, George (Mr.) Whipple, discovered the ailment.

The final analysis

Before I committed anything financially to The National Organization of Professional Athletes and Celebrities, a Sports Speakers Booking Agency, I may want a bit of proof. The cast of speakers is huge but dubious. Judging from their list, I would think they hang out with Haley Joel Osment who coined the phrase, “I see dead people” in the movie “The Sixth Sense.” Maybe the company motto is “Greatful Speaking Dead. I dare you to go back and look to see if Jerry Garcia is available.