What Hillary Clinton Should Tell Jacob Zuma

Dear Madam Secretary,

Jacob Zuma, you will discover, is a charming man. After all, he has four wives and three “fiancees” for whom he has already paid lobola, the bride price. He has children by two of them.

Jacob Zuma can be seductively beguiling in his dealings with women. His roots are deep in tribal patriarchy. He was acquitted on rape charges despite confessing to his infidelity with a younger woman who looked up to him as a “father” and who he knew was HIV positive. That episode may ring uncomfortably familiar, but it is important in the minds of South Africans – though with diverse interpretations.

Jacob Zuma is a lifelong communist, as you probably know, but spins a credible and alluring line in capitalism’s direction too. He was also the shadowy head of the African National Congress’s “Underground Structures” and chief of its Intelligence Department in Lusaka – a period still cloaked in controversy. 

And Jacob Zuma has dodged too many bullets in his checkered but troubled career to be approached with anything less than a Geiger counter and the tingling senses of Spiderman. We will probably never know whether he did take bribes during the 1990s Arms Scandal, though his personal financial advisor, Schabir Shaik, did serve time in prison (well, most of it was in a private Durban hospital) for his part in fraud and corruption committed back then. 

In fact, weapons, bullets, unproven allegations, infidelity, avarice, ambiguity, suspicion, shaky morals and most of the popular iconography we associate with historic figures such as Nero, Henry VIII or Idi Amin have tended to envelope Jacob Zuma like the perennial dustcloud surrounding Pigpen in the Charlie Brown cartoons. 

That he has survived it all continues to amaze those in South Africa not captivated like screaming girls at a Beatles concert by his charisma, his comforting baritone and his enormous tribal stature. Admittedly we’re in the minority, as his resounding victory in April’s election proved, but then again this is South Africa and the wisdom of what the past 100 years have taught mankind doesn’t readily gain a foothold down here. How else could a man who, in song, entreats his adoring followers to bring him his machine gun and, with the same rich baritone, entreats God to bless Africa in the national anthem.

It is an enigmatic paradox that defies the Western mindset and puts to rout the ideals your president swore to uphold. 

Madam Secretary, you will need to marshall all your diplomatic nous and senatorial savvy in dealing with our president. Beware the trap of being on the defensive and take strength from who and what you represent. In Zumaworld the cult of personality reigns supreme and the mythical cloak of invulnerability sits comfortably on his shoulders.

Be firm in pointing out, as did your president in Ghana, that the developed nations will help Africa in every way possible, but that moral governance, justice, human rights and dignity for all must set the foundations for funding first. 

Be uncompromising in insisting on absolute transparency in adhering to electoral promises, on putting the people first every time all the time, on eradicating corruption, greed and criminality and not just sweeping it under the carpet.

Warn Zuma that he needs to change and change radically; that he needs to lead and not merely rule; that his first responsibility is to the people of SA – all nearly 50-million of us – and not his beloved party that has grown fat and arrogant on the spoils of the past 15 years; that he needs to be ruthless in weeding out the freeloaders and incompetents in authority; that he must dramatically and convincingly turn the tide on crime.

Demand of him, as is the right of the rest of the world, to let no person and no group or party, tribe or clique, rise above the law and the Constitution. Demand that he dedicate himself to healing the wounds of racism and ethnic hatreds, to ensuring education and health for all, to setting standards that will once again see South Africans hold their heads high in pride as they did in 1994 and 1995. 

And make him poignantly aware that the eyes of the world are watching him and his government in minute, constant and uncompromising detail as the 2010 FIFA Soccer World Cup draws nearer. Impress on him that there is no room for clownish antics, muddled thinking, undignified (if comical) buffoonery or unrealistic economic chicanery. Tell him that the time for excuses and begging bowls has gone forever.

Then we will all be able to hope and believe again.

But it will not be easy, Madam Secretary. This is a strange and ancient land with strange and ancient ways. The following legend may help gain insight into us.

There is an old African parable in which the Scorpion tries to convince the Jackal to carry him across the swirling river on his back. The Jackal, a wise and canny animal, counters by asking the Scorpion, “How do I know that when we’re in the deepest part of the river you will not whip your tail around and sting me to death?”

“Why would I do such a thing, my friend?” the Scorpion replies. “That would mean certain death for both of us. Do not think such thoughts.”

His doubts allayed, the Jackal let the Scorpion climb up his flanks and nestle in between his shoulder blades. However, as they reached the deepest part of the river, the Scorpion arched his tail and drove his lethal sting deep into the Jackal’s flesh.

As the rapids bore them both away, the Jackal asked, “Why did you do that, you evil creature? Now both of us will die.” 

“I couldn’t help myself,” the Scorpion said. “It is my nature.”