The Ulsterman Report: Thank Goodness Michael Moore is Here to Save America..

Let me put it in as clear terms as possible – I loathe Michael Moore.  The rancid nature of his leftist rants are as disgusting and devoid of personal responsibility as is the obese frame from which he chooses to live within.  Each “documentary” he has created has been rife with manufactured truth, or outright fabrication.  And yet, he persists in living within the self-important bubble of his own creation, waiting for the next political firestorm that will allow him an audience to once again bellow his hatred of America.

Such was the case this week in Wisconsin, where millionaire Moore flew from his posh New York digs to declare to thousands of bussed in protesters that a workers’ revolution had finally arrived in America.  That the “Earth is shaking and the ground is shifting under the feet of those who are in charge.”  Hmmm… last we checked, Barack Obama, a far left Democrat, was still in charge, no?  At least in title at any rate.  So is Michael Moore pointing his attacks against Obama?  Not likely, as Moore is a fat white guy, and so, being a liberal, such criticism is very few and far between – even when it is much deserved, as it most certainly is in the case of President Barack Obama.

I actually met Mr. Moore in another life – my time spent straddling the world of academia and journalism.  Moore was on his pitiful and ultimately failed “Slacker Tour” during the 2004 presidential election cycle.  I, along with some colleagues, (most of them deplorably liberal) were part of a meet and greet session prior to Moore taking the auditorium stage later that evening.  The experience was, in all aspects, entirely underwhelming, and left me yet again marveling at how some in America can make so much from so little.  In the case of Michael Moore, the little being attributes such as intellect, talent, and personal hygiene and charm.

Moore arrived late – quite a bit late actually.  He had a bit of an entourage, and entered the room with an odd shuffle, his arms hanging to his sides with little motion.  His head hangs well below his shoulders, the ample chins of course well documented and known to most, still managing to be clearly visible.  And even though he was in a room comprised mostly of like-minded liberals, Moore exuded an air of near total insecurity.  His eyes darting quickly from face to face, his mouth slanted oddly as if he had recently suffered a serious stroke, and when the mouth moved and words sprang forth, they sounded off in an odd, high pitched, (almost feminine) tone that only added to the overall comical quality of this very odd creature.

Only when the filmmaker was greeted by an overly enthusiastic member of the psychology department, (if you wish to find the oddest grouping of deranged madness in any university – it will be the psychology department) who spent a full minute professing how much she adored Moore’s films, and how brilliant they were, did Moore seem to stand a bit straighter and show a glimpse of confidence.  It was then I saw the arrogance that is so common in Moore’s public appearances, be they a rally of fellow leftists as happened recently in Wisconsin, or Moore’s numerous appearances on television.  A few moments later, and Moore stood/slouched before me, the confidence that had found him minutes ago, once again vanished.  I extended my hand toward him and he gave a slight pause, and I noted his fingers working nervously in anticipation of impending human contact.  I shared my name and position at the university, and gave a terse declaration of finding his work “interesting”.  That word seemed to bother poor Michael, and his head snapped up to look at me. (We appeared to be nearly the same height – when he wasn’t slouching so much)

Finally Moore’s hand agreed to shake my own, and I was somewhat startled at how damp and weak his grip was.  Being such a large man, I had assumed the handshake would be a bit more…substantial, but Michael Moore’s grip has a similar quality to that of flatulence.  It is somehow there, but if for the sound and smell, would not exist.  Then our moment passed, he shambled for a few more minutes around the room, before disappearing out the hall and toward the auditorium.

As I watched him speak to the thousands of students who attended later that night, I made note of the nervous excitement Moore displayed when receiving applause and approval from a group of like (and lacking) minded people.  He attempts a smile, his arms repeatedly rise and fall around his girth, his voice registers even higher, and at times, an odd, almost maniacal giggle escapes him.  And ultimately what I realized is that though the crowd agreed with the message that Moore was sharing that night – we all hate George Bush, we all hate the Iraq war, we all hate rich people, (despite the fact Moore himself is very wealthy) we all deserve more, America is so messed up and we need to change it… etc., that same audience did not like Michael Moore himself.  They cheered his words, but they did not cheer him, because Michael Moore himself is a completely unlikeable human being – and he knows it.  He is the spoiled fat kid demanding of attention – the very essence of America’s near debilitating self-important, self-indulgent, and utterly self-aggrandizing spoils of having it so very good for so very long.

So as I watched Michael Moore this past week give the same basic excitable, nervous, fleshy, speech he gave back in 2004, I could not help but smile.  For if Michael Moore represents the far left ideal of activist leadership come to save America, then truly U.S. liberalism as a viable and respected ideology has come to its near inevitable end.  Michael Moore’s rants represent the death rattle of this country’s 1960’s era radicalism – a radicalism that has now descended into the outright and insignificant parody that is Michael Moore and his obese and flatulent body of work.

Realizing that then, I say with all sincerity, thank God Michael Moore is here to save America…