Is It Because I is Barack?

What is it about Barack Obama that offends fifty percent of Americans? Just why is it that the man who was hailed in July by adoring Europeans at a speech Berlin as the next Jesus Christ superstar saviour of the world, is now still only neck and neck with his rival John McCain in the latest opinion polls? These are the kind of searching questions the Obama camp has been asking itself, along with those with any shred of sanity left in the rest of the world. In the months since his nomination as Presidential candidate, Obama has been scurrying around like the new kid in school trying to make friends and reunite the Democrats, America, and even the world. But something is holding him back in the eyes of the voters he must depend on to fulfil his destiny.

Indeed, Obama must be pouting at himself in the mirror and asking, “Is it because I is black?” Desperation has set in at the Democrat war machine. Rumours abounded this week that Obama’s aides have been making enquiries at the door of another Christ figure with race issues: the man, the legend, Michael Jackson himself. Short of radical skin lightening procedures, goes the argument, how else will Obama stroll into the Whitehouse with that face? Although Jackson’s PR denied that the superstars had met face to face, they declined to comment as to whether Obama’s people had been referred to a certain plastic surgeon. Whiteman’s Clinic for the Racially Challenged in Phillidelphia, where Jackson has been a regular customer since the 1990s, also refused to comment when questioned as to the legitimacy of these rumours. Let’s just hope that if Obama does decide become a white man for the Whitehouse that he’ll resist the temptation to scoop up Hilary Clinton’s former supporters while he’s under the knife. Just think what he could achieve by shaving just a bit off his nose and chin and acquiring a bouffant wig.