World Wrestling Entertainment and National Public Radio Team Up This Fall

The Associated Press announced Friday the union, for the creation of an innovative new radio program, of two seemingly disparate organizations: National Public Radio (NPR) and World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), formerly the World Wrestling Federation.

The program will be called “The Wrestler’s Notebook”, and will feature WWE stars like Christopher Irvine (“Chris Jericho”) and Paul Levesque (“Triple H”) discussing life in and outside the ring. Professional and aspiring wrestlers alike will also have a chance to write in with their stories, to be read by host Garrison Keillor, or to call in with comments, questions or death threats.

“These stories are wildly entertaining,” says Keillor. “It is so refreshing to hear the softer side of what you might assume to be such a Philistine lifestyle in the e-mails we’ve received. Oh, and I just love being in the middle of the ring, as it were, for a good knock-down, drag-out verbal bout.”

In Friday’s press release NPR offered sneak peeks into the content of the wrestlers’ stories. One from William Goldberg (“Goldberg”) describes how he began his career, at which time he was a practicing ascetic at the Monastery of the Solemn Tree in northern Ohio. According to Mr. Goldberg, he received a vision from God that told him his vocation was to be a picture of justice to the world.

Mark Calaway (“The Undertaker”), tells the tale of how he came up with his WWE persona while working as a florist. On a delivery to a funeral home, a petite mortician jokingly told Calaway that, judging from the looks of the two men, their roles ought to be reversed. It was then that the idea for The Undertaker was born. After receiving overwhelming support from his wife and seven children, Calaway contacted an agent and began making the fateful inquiries.

Dwayne Johnson (“The Rock”), arguably WWE’s most famous wrestler due to his late movie stardom, presents a touching love story from his early days with WWE. Upon checking out an origami book from his local library on a brief hiatus between Raw ™ and Smackdown ™, he became smitten with a librarian who was engaged to another man. Johnson portrays himself as a desperate lover challenging the fortitude of a romantic rival in what rapidly develops into a high-stakes karaoke competition.

Wrestlers who are guests on the show will have the opportunity to comment on their colleagues’ stories in a segment called “Turn the Page”. The result will be a cross between a Friar’s Club roast and a stories-around-the-campfire feel, according to the Associated Press.

“This is going to be an awesome opportunity for us to reach out to an audience we’ve never been able to crack before,” says WWE Chairman Vince McMahon. “I am thrilled to be a part of giving these guys and gals a chance to tell their stories. Because, you know, we’re real people. And people really respond to people that are real.”

Not everyone is happy about WWE’s representation on National Public Radio, however.

“This is the most ungodly, unholy, ridiculous thing ever to happen, ever,” says Margie Simms, 70, a long-time NPR listener. “Was Garrison on the hashish, I wonder, when he agreed to do this? I don’t think I’ll ever listen to “A Prairie Home Companion” again.” After hesitating, she adds, “Well, maybe just those hilarious Guy Noir stories. But nothing else.”

Kevin Klose, President of NPR, defends the organization from accusations that WWE content is not suitable for public radio. “Everyone deserves to have his or her voice heard,” Klose says. “You would have to be fascist to the umpteenth degree not to see that professional wrestlers are human beings with hearts and minds. They are people worthy of our respect and admiration.” He adds, “I have been a fan of the WWF – I guess it’s WWE now – for as long as I can remember, and nothing is going to stop me from putting the choke-slam smackdown on detractors to this wonderful new program.”

Garrison Keillor is equally optimistic about the success of the show, which is scheduled to begin broadcasting on most NPR affiliate stations this fall. “Radio programs like “A Prairie Home Companion” have had their place with the NPR demographic,” Keillor says. “They’ve had their time, as each season has its time, and just as the first frost of autumn marks the beginning of a new period, a season in which to forget the toils of summer and just nestle in by the fire, so does the frost in the hair of so many of our listeners mark an occasion to look forward to a season in which we get cozy next to a different sort of fire, the fire of raw testosterone, burning dimly in the pale moonlit nights, reminding us of who we are, who we were, who we might become.”