The Royal Wedding: Why Britain Shouldn&rsquo;t/doesn&rsquo;t Care
So, the Royal Family….now a Royal Wedding…when are we getting our money back?
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Oh my God! “Big” Willy and “Babykins” Kate are getting married (No, they really do call each other by those nicknames) and it’s going to instill a sense of pride in Britain, raising spirits of the working classes during this, their most dire financial situation since Thatcher’s days. Really, watching a couple of rich people drain money out of the country (via increased security and police forces around them, general wedding costs they get the money for via…us etc). Wikipedia explains it best here. We can only hope that all burglars are Royalists.
It’s great they’re happy and they’re getting married, but I mean that on a personal level. The average Joe basically isn’t interested. The extra day off we get is nice, but a token to the amount of money this wedding wastes. We have to pay for our weddings, so why not them, theirs? According to recent polls, 87.3% of Britons don’t believe we need a monarchy; that is essentially, your boss saying one of your employees is redundant, but is not allowed to sack them for some unknown, unfair anachronistic reason.
A monarchy does not allow for a full democratic system, yet we have Parliament. Royalists may even believe the Royal Family should be given more power, but that just exacerbates the point: they really are pointless with regards to Britain and her (few) commonwealth states. They are neither rulers, nor democrats. They’re just people with special privileges due to bloodline. Not to take a cheap shot, but isn’t that what the BNP believes in? And…well just generally, active racists? This is more a classist point, but still needs to be addressed and never has been.
Related article: the banality of snobbery in the UK here.
Really, let us break free from this system. Parliament has been proved time and time again to be corrupt, but we unfortunately, at this particular point in time, need them. Maybe not the specific people, but we need them as a system. We do not need royals flaunting all of their ill-gotten gains that technically belong to us as a nation, in front of us and claiming they are worthwhile. They’d be average people were it not for their parents, and their parents before them, and their parents before them and[…]
How about we vote for the royal family? Personally, I vote Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne to come back to England and take the throne, but that’s just me being more realistic than the current royals. I would have been happy to contribute to their wedding fund, were they royal. We’d get a bit of entertainment over the racism and (alleged) assassinations at least. Good value for money. I even think Harry’s a big Ozzy fan, so there.
Image via Wikipedia
Anyway I digress, basically, I’m happy you’ve found a husband/wife in the man/woman that you love, but please stop wasting our money and time telling us about it. You’re not worth it and no one genuinely cares. Put the pride back in Britain? Royal family, Stop wasting money by your very existence; Parliament, come up with some decent financial measures to combat that which should have been over years ago (Australia, for example managed to avoid recession) and please Mr Media stop covering a wedding which you’d be hard-pushed to find a fan of!
Still undecided about the Monarchy? Well, here’s a lovely bit of trivia for you: Should Kate become monarch, besides being the first one that you would actually want to take to bed, she will be the first monarch who has a degree. Harry, in contrast, got a B and a D at A-Level in Art and Geography respectively. I actually managed better than that without the benefit of an education from Eton costing hundreds of thousands of pounds without really revising. So there you have it, an uneducated, unwanted, not-needed, racist, drug-using anachronism soaking up all of our money and loving every second of it.
Anyway, their abdication isn’t happening in the foreseeable future, so I leave you with a Facebook group to the Royal Wedding Drinking game, complete with rules. Enjoy your day off in style!
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