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This morning a large earthquake off the cost of Brazil sent a devastating tidal wave into the coast, destroying much of the Brazilian coast. General Gustovo was amongst the slain…

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     This morning a large earthquake off the cost of Brazil sent a devastating tidal wave into the coast, destroying much of the Brazilian coast.  General  Gustovo was injured, while he was hunting dolphins with pop star Pablo Raphael.  Sourses say that Pablo had taken out the General on his 50 foot yahct, the Soy rico Puto for a fun day of dolphin hunting, when the boat was annihilated by what some locals assume was gods wrath sent down to kill Pablo for a life of heathenism- the irony of course is that Pablo survived the disaster with minor injuries, while those that had prayed for his demise were brutally crushed.  The united states government has already mounted a 15 billion dollar campaign to rebuild the 1 million dollar town of Puerta Raton.  Americans are in mourning at star bucks across the land, some tweeting, others facebooking. A spokesperson from the town of Flyswatsan Ethiopia proclaimed shortly after the disaster in a press conference “We are all in shock, we have been waiting for a disaster for months to get the attention of Americans. Guess Brazil wins the lottery this month. I will continue to have my top Voodoo Chiefs praying for earthquakes, all we can do is hope.”
      Actors are uniting for this travesty, Tom Cruise and Sean Penn have been seen with large nets on the shattered coast, collecting babies with large nets, that are washing to shore like clams.  Brangalina has also been seen shopping the trendy post apocolyptic nightmare for exotic and cool looking children, Brad reported saying “Its like pokemon with her, she wont stop, she just got a rare Icelandic/Korean hybrid, I know its just a fad, and one day all these kids are gonna be out in the garage with her beanie babies.”
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